Introducing The Show Stealer

“This is gonna be great!”

(The camera is rolling. We see the back of the head of a male, the hair is bushy and scruffy and brown.  He is average height and thin build.    He is walking fairly fast and the person holding the camera is having difficulty keeping up, as evidenced by the freakish Blair Witch style jumpiness to the nth degree.  The camera jumpiness is so bad that we can barely make out the cream colored walls and black carpeting of the floor of this hall that this figure, and his camera, seem to be rushing down.  A bare wall, and a very plain hall, to be honest.)

“Is this really necessary, Matty?”

(That sweet female voice is calling out to the male, named Matthew; Matthew Bowden to be specific.  News recently broke that Bowden had signed a new wrestling deal, this one with the Independent Wrestling Cartel.  That’s good, right?  Maybe.  We’ll see.  Oh and that sweet female voice, well it belongs to his girlfriend, Helen Martin.)

Bowden: Absolutely necessary, babe!  It wouldn’t be as awesome or as fun anywhere else!

Helen: You do realize that they’re having a board meeting of Tyler Industries, don’t you?

(Matthew stops immediately, so suddenly that Helen, who is holding the camera if you haven’t figured out yet, almost runs into him.)

Bowden: And you remember who I am, right?

Helen (a sighing is heard off camera): Yes, I remember, sweetie…

Bowden: Well my zillions upon zillions of fans…

(He taps at the camera lenses.)

Bowden: Yes, I can see you out there, Alistair!  I know you secretly have a man crush on me!  But no touchy touchy at the End of the Year Special, pal!  I’m straight…

(He winks.)

Bowden: My name is Matthew Bowden!  But Bowden is NOT my birth name…my birth name on this right here…

(A female hand appears, handing Matthew a piece of paper.  He takes it holds it up to the camera.)

Bowden: …MY birth certificate, by the by…says that I am MATTHEW TYLER!  Brother of Francis Tyler, heir to the Tyler Empire and Tyler Industries!  But as my lovely, beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, pretty, stunning, radiant, strikingly intelligent, warm, fun-loving…

Helen: Ok, I think they get the picture.

Bowden: Right!  Um…where was I?

Helen: Your biography, darling.

Bowden: Right!  But as my lovely, beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, pretty, stunning, radiant, strikingly intelligent, warm, fun-loving girlfriend so loves to point out…I do not like living in the lap of luxury that the Tyler name provides!  In fact, I refuse the large mansion, the fancy cars, I refuse it all!  I live quite simply…you know why?

(He smirks.)

Bowden: Because it’s just so much more fun!

(He motions down the hall, towards a door not too far away.)

Bowden: Inside that door is a meeting!  A board meeting of Tyler Industries! And we are gonna interrupt it!  Why?  Because it’ll be a blast to see the looks on the faces of those stuck up suits!

Helen: Still not sure it’s a good idea.

Bowden: And THAT is why you’re just holding the camera, love!

(With that, Matthew Bowden turns back around and walks further down the hall.  Helen follows along with the camera in tow.  As soon as he gets to the door he stops and turns to face the camera, being held by Helen.)

Bowden: Ladies, gentlemen, and yes you too, Ethan!  Right here, behind THIS door, is…

(He swings the door open and steps inside.  There is a long, ovular conference room table, oak, with seats all over.  Men and women in suits are scattered all over the table, seated and talking.  Well, they WERE seated and talking before Bowden stepped into the room.  Now they have all become silent and have turned their attention to Bowden.)

Bowden: …TYLER INDUSTRIES!

(He walks up to the table and jumps up on top in one swift move.  He begins walking on top of the table, to the shock and dismay of everyone in attendance.)

Bowden: Greetings, my special little subordinates!

(He struts down the table to the front where he leaps off and then snatches the blonde woman at the head of the table, pulls her to her feet, and begins dancing with her to invisible, unheard music.)

Bowden: La! La! La! I believe I can fly! I believe!...sorry for stealing your catchphrase there, Snowy Selena…La! La! La!...

(Helena is giggling like mad at the sight of this.  Bowden dips the blonde female kisses her…on the cheek…and then brings her back up.  The blonde slaps her across the face.)

Francis: MATTHEW!  WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!

(Bowden points to the blonde, who happens to be his sister Francis.)

Bowden: My sister, ladies and gentlemen, FRANCIS TYLER!

Francis: This is NOT funny, Matthew!  You cannot be here right now!

Bowden: Sure I can!  I own this place!

(Francis rolls her eyes.)

Francis: Yes, you do, but this is a BOARD MEETING!

(Matthew nods his head.)

Bowden: You’re right!

(He turns to the board members, still looking on in shock.)

Bowden: Go out to Outback Steakhouse!  Tell them it’s on Francis Tyler’s tab!

(With that the other board members slowly but surely make their exit out of the room.  Once they are all gone Francis turns back to her anger directed at Matthew Bowden, her brother.)

Francis: What is the meaning of this, Matthew?  We were involved in an important board meeting?

Bowden: Yeah and you can get back to it after they are good and full…or good and drunk…at the Outback.  On your tab, by the way.  But this…

(He points to the camera.)

Bowden : …is MY promo for MY match at the End of the Year Special for Independent Wrestling Cartel!  You do know I’m still wrestling, right?

Francis: Unfortunately, yes…

Bowden: No, no, no!  This is good!  This will be great publicity for Tyler Industries!  I mean, look at us now, we are airing live!

Francis: I see that…wait…

(Francis Tyler’s face grows pale.)

Francis: …live?

Bowden: That’s right, sis!  WE ARE LIVE!

(He turns to the camera.)

Bowden: Hello, IWC!  Hello Serenity!  Hello Andre Jordan!  And most importantly, hello to my newwwwww bestie friend Alistair Taylor!  So you look at me, and you see a joke?  You don’t like sports entertainers?  Good, because I am NOT a sports entertainer.  I am just an entertainer.  Sports?  Athletics?  Wrestling?  Meh.  I’m here for one reason and one reason only and that is to get a rise out of the fans!  I am here to give the fans a show that they will never ever forget!

(He points at the camera.)

Bowden:  You are a disappointment, my friend.  You are Monarchy’s pet Chihuahua.  You yap and yap about wanting respect, wanting title shots, wanting this and wanting that.  You’re getting none of that with them.  The only thing you’re getting is Taylor Chase’s coffee.  I hear she likes two lumps, just for your information.

(Matthew smirks.)

Bowden: You want to wrestle your way to victory?  You can wrestle all day long.  You can wrestle until the cows come home.  You can wrestle when the cows get home.  You can even beat me at the End of the Year Special.  But no matter how many wins you have in wrestling matches, you will never top my career, Ali.  My name will be the name on everyone’s lips for a long time to come while you will continue to be a boring little Monarchy wannabe.

(The camera pans out.)

Bowden: Who am I?  I am The Show Stealer…I am Matthew Bowden…and I don’t care about wrestling tradition.  Fuck tradition.  All hail entertainment, baby!  Fade...to...black...

Helen: Uh, Matt...

Bowden: Fade to black!

Helen: You forgot about Aaron Harrison.

Bowden: I did?

Helen: Yeah, you did.

Bowden: Crap.  Um...Aaron Harrison...uh...I WILL WIN!

Helen: Did you seriously just use that lame attack against him?

Bowden: Yup!  Because no one ever has the balls to, but The Show Stealer has the balls to do the crazy shit no one else will!  So yeah, Harrison...that's all I got to say to you!  I WILL WIN!

(Fade to black.)